The Retro Podcast Massacre

Episode 19 - Black and White Nights or "An Appointment With Fear"

Val Thomas Season 1 Episode 19

THIS EPISODE CONTAINS ONLY LIGHT SPOILERS

In this episode, Val's family stops by to reminisce about their days of staying up late to watch the Friday Night Horror at grandad's on his old black and white tv set.

We'll take a look at some family favourites from back in the day, including...

- Robert Wise's adaptation of Shirley Jackson's classic novel, "The Haunting" 
- Jacques Tourneur's terrifying and atmospheric "Night of the Demon"
- Heaps of rollicking fun with Charles Laughton and Boris Karloff in "The Strange Door"
- And the film that traumatised young Val, "Devil Doll" from 1964.

Why don't you cosy up with us? Curl up under a blanket with a nice cup of tea and some hot buttered toast. Let the ghoulies and ghosties roam outside as we celebrate Halloween with our horror family.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

Now then, 

I’m Val’s dad, and he’s asked me to present the show this time on account of how it’s about older horror films and he wanted to hear me opinions on Classic Horror from the Golden Era. Or summat like that. 

I know, I know, I feel a bit daft to put it bluntly. But I indulge the lad. And it seemed important to the daft sod. So here I am. Hang on, I just need to put on my reading glasses and put in me speaking teeth. 

(sound effects)

Ha-hem.

Tonight’s first filum is “The Horror of Dracula” from 1958. Oooh. 1958. What a year that were. Elvis… Buddy Holly… winkle pickers and ducks arse haircuts…

VAL: (from a distance) Dad! Get on with it!

DAD: Oh aye. Dracula. Oooh, that were a crackin’ film that were. I remember it like it were yesterday. I saw it in the back row of the Rialto with Doreen Bickersly. She were a lovely lass, she were. Big. Big woman. Summat you really get hold of. Anyway, so there we were, in the back row, and she were dead frightened like, which was perfect back in the day, because they used to cling to yer. CLING, they did. And well, when Dracula came on, that was when I managed to unfasten her…

VAL: Dad. Dad. What are you doing? 

DAD: I’m talking about Dracula.

VAL: No you WEREN’T you were getting to third base with Doreen Bickersly. 

DAD: Doreen Bickersly! We still keep in touch you know. Of course, she’s let herself go these days… It’s all down around her ankles now…

VAL: Never mind that! Are you going to talk about films or not? 

DAD: Aye, aye, I’ll talk about yer daft films. But I can’t talk about Dracula, cos we got chucked out after that on account of how her knickers…

VAL: I don’t want to need about Doreen’s knickers, thank you very much! Why don’t you talk about “The Quatermass Xperiment” instead?

DAD: Ooooh, yes! Quatermass! I watched the telly series on the BBC, you know! Frightened the bloody life out of me, so when I took yer mum to the Odeon, I knew I was in with a good chance of getting into her…

VAL: Dad! 

DAD: It’s all right son! I’m not going to talk about your conception or anything!

VAL: Thank god for that. 

DAD: Aye. I used a johnny that time. It wasn’t until we went to the Futurist to see Rosemary’s Baby, ironically enough…

VAL: Dad! Did you see any actual films at the cinema? Or were you too busy having “sexploits” with women?

DAD: Well it wasn’t easy in my day! Me dad wouldn’t allow any of that mucky stuff in the house. If I got up to any funny business he would clip me round the ear and threaten to cut off me stipend!

(Pause)

DAD: Losing yer stipend. That can be very alarming for a young man.

VAL: I’m sure it can. 

DAD: I’m sorry son. I’ve ruined your pop-tart.

VAL: Podcast dad, it’s a podcast.

DAD: That an ‘all, aye. But hey. I’ve had an idea! Hold on!

(telephone noises)

DAD: Dad! It’s Malcolm here! It’s Malcolm! I SAY, it’s Malcolm, your son! Put your bloody hearing aid in!

VAL: Grandad?

DAD: We’re going to come round to see yer. Val wants to watch some old ‘orror films with us. No, I don’t know why. He’s allus been a bit strange. What’s that? What sort of whisky? Aye, aye, I’ll see what I can do. We’ll see you soon. I SAY, we’ll see you soon! Deaf old get.

DAD: Right son. It’s all sorted. Yer grandad can help out with the pop-tart.

VAL: Oh dear god.

Good evening, my dear Willing Participants, 

I have noted, with enjoyment, and a great deal of affection that many of you – my horror family – keep special memories of those first times you were frightened. Of your first brush with cinematic horror. 

Not just of the films themselves. But of the time and place when it happened. When the thin veil of brutish reality dropped away, and was replaced with the glorious fantasy of the macabre. When first you encountered ghost and spirits, vampires and wolf-men. Masked killers and demons. It is apparent that you keep these memories close to you.

Perhaps you were sat as a child, cross-legged and open-mouthed in front of flickering tv set as a shambling monster chased Scooby Doo and those pesky kids. Or perhaps you were taken to the cinema, where you sat huddled in the dark as a great white shark loomed out of the depths. Or perhaps an EVIL older brother sat you down one afternoon and asked the innocent question, “Have you ever heard of Freddy Krueger…?” 

I am no different from you in this aspect. Perhaps the only thing that separates us is time, my dear friends. I grew up in the 1970’s in the north of England. And I am grateful that my family was a horror-loving family.

For this reason, horror has always been a family affair for me. Especially on those occasions when I got to spend the weekend with my grandad. He loved horror films, and at 10:30 on a Friday night, my sister and I would gather around his black and white television set and tune to channel 3 for their regular horror slot, “Appointment With Fear”. 

It started right after the News at Ten. So I would impatiently sit through the news. Dull, dull tales of industrial action, Soviet/American arms talks and royal visits to Australia. But it gave grandad time to put on the kettle, brew a pot of tea and make hot, thick buttered toast. 

In my mind, these evenings are always Autumn evenings. Leaves gather in gutters, there is a smell of bonfires in the air. Lights can be seen behind pulled curtains in the houses across the road. All over the country, people are shutting themselves in and awaiting their evening’s “entertainment”.

Outside, the weather is awful. Rain beats against the windows, but we are inside, in our pyjamas, with blankets wrapped around us, as the fire crackles and spits. 

My dear friends, more than anything else, this to me is Halloween.

The news would finally end. To this day, that end credit music sends a shiver of anticipation down my spine. And then…

The Appointment With Fear theme would start, and then the film. Grandad would turn off all of the lights, and it would just be us, our wide-eyes and startled faces illuminated by the flicker of his television, as horrors unfolded…

And that is the atmosphere I want you to feel with me tonight, my dear willing participants. 

You are likely from a different time and place than me. Halloween may mean trick or treating to you – which was not a thing in the UK, back when I was young. Or it may mean some local horror host or hostess, ghoulishly announcing some 1950’s creature feature. 

Nevertheless, as we approach Halloween, perhaps you will put aside some time for my grandfather and me, as we meet you for… an Appointment… With Fear.

GDAD: Ah Jesus. You don’t half go on. Fuck’s sake. 

Look, I’m just trying to create atmosphere. 

GDAD: Well, I’m sitting here and me tea’s gone fecking cold while you’ve been givin’ the WAFFLE. What was it you wanted to talk about?

Those great films we used to watch. Our favourites from Appointment With Fear. 

GDAD: In that case, we should start with a film that nearly made you SHIT yourself.

Um. Well. You know, I’m supposed to have some horror credibility here… I don’t think there’s a need to tell the Willing Participants about that sort of thing…

GDAD: Ah no. They need to hear about this one. Ye nearly shit in yer pants. So ye did. I remember I had to stay up until three in the fecking morning reading you stories to calm you down. 

Oh no! Not…

GDAD: YES! We’re going to talk about DEVIL DOLL.

He’s right you know. This black and white British film from 1964 utterly freaked me out when I first saw it. To this day, I find something fantastically sinister about it, and even the opening – which is actually not scary in the least as a stern-looking man drives through the streets of 1960’s London – makes the hairs on my arms stand up. 

But you have good reason to FEAR this man. As it turns out he’s a famous hypnotist known as The Great Vorelli. He’s a cold, arrogant, cruel man. And unbeknownst to the public, his fiendish powers are no mere illusion… but dark magic. 

His act draws huge crowds. I expect you may have been to such shows yourself. Shows where the hypnotist encourages members of the public to bark like a dog or convinces them that they are Elvis.

But Vorelli’s show is altogether darker. He loves to humiliate and dominate his subjects. To use his powers to break their will and make them his slaves. In the European version of the film – the “rude” version – Vorelli selects a shy, bookish woman from the audience and makes her strip naked. That scene is not in the US version – but you will see a horrific scene where he convinces a man that he’s about to be executed, making him kneel and break down in tears. 

(Insert extract)

And then he clicks his fingers and ha ha ha. It was all just… a joke. 

Cue applause.

I mean, seriously, 1960’s theatre-goers. This is fucking SICK. What the hell sort of an audience ARE you?

But maybe they are there for the highlight of his act. A truly amazing display of ventriloquism. The Great Vorelli brings out Hugo, his dummy and performs amazing feats with him. Seriously. Hugo doesn’t sing and tell jokes. Instead he bickers with Vorelli. In fact, Hugo seems to HATE and FEAR Vorelli. But Vorelli dominates Hugo as he dominates his volunteers. At the climax of his show, Vorelli makes Hugo jump from his lap, walk to the front of the stage and apologise to the audience for his misbehaviour. 

(Insert clip)

In all of his shows, Hugo appears to be trying to resist Vorelli, but Vorelli’s powers of mind control keep him as a slave. A carved wooden, hideous slave. 

I should also explain that Hugo IS hideous. His appearance is what terrified me as a child.

GDAD: Ye SHIT yer pants!

Yes, yes, of course I did. Don’t listen to him, Willing Participants. Poor old fellow. His mind isn’t what it used to be.

GDAD: I fucking heard that, ye cheeky little bollix.

The thing about Hugo, is that he’s the standard sort of ventriloquist doll, dressed in a dinner jacket with cheerful eyebrows and a stupid grin. But he’s not quite right. His eyebrows make him look angry. His high carved cheekbones make him look demonic. And the voice coming out from that grimace of a smile is high-pitched, strained, tormented and desperate. 

What IS going on? A journalist named Mark investigates the dummy – to see what sort of mechanism is inside to make it walk – and finds that Vorelli – for some reason – feels compelled to keep it locked up in a cage at night. 

If that weren’t worrying enough, the caged dummy begs the journalist to help him. 

Meanwhile, Vorelli – with an insatiable libido and a desire to sexually dominate every woman he sees – has determined to make Mark’s girlfriend his own. Her name is Marianne, and she foolishly volunteers at one of Vorelli’s shows. She avoids total humiliation and gets away with simply being made to dance “The Twist” in an unintentionally funny scene.

However, long after the show is over, she can’t shake the sound of Vorelli’s voice in her head – calling for her to come to him, come to him and to do whatever he commands… 

Can Mark save her? It appears he’s closing in on the truth – but Vorelli has absolute control over Hugo, who must obey his master’s murderous bidding…

Okay. I’m getting scared again now. Grandad? Do you think you could read me a story?

GDAD: Oh for fuck’s sake. Not this again. And it’s not like it’s even that good of a film. It looks cheap and a lot of the acting is shite.

Well yes. I suppose so. But I kind of like that about it. It’s got this lovely sense of time and place. You can tell it’s set in the sleazy London suburb of Soho in the 1960’s.

GDAD: Oh is that what it is? I just thought it looked like bollocks. The wee lassie is pretty though.

She’s Yvonne Romaine. She played the mute servant girl in “Curse of the Werewolf” – in that film, she gets raped by a hideous old beggar and for some reason that makes her gives birth to werewolf Oliver Reed. 

DAD: Ooooh, Curse of the Werewolf. What a great film. I took Jenny Woodman to that one. Ooooh, she were lovely lass, she were. A nurse, you know…

GDAD: Oooh, nurses! I love a woman in uniform. Yer grandmother was in the WAAFs you know, and of an evening, after we’d had a few, we would do this thing where she’d put on her uniform, and I’d pretend to be Rommel and…

What is wrong with you two??

GDAD: Ach, he’s such a prude, this one.

DAD: Well he doesn’t get it from me. I blame his mother. 

“Devil Doll” is a long way from the Hammer and Amicus horror classics of the 1960’s. It does look cheap. And a lot of the acting is very ropey, po-faced, silly, melodramatic and overblown. There’s definitely a lot of scope for unintentional laughs in this film. There are lengthy, dull scenes in which the square-jawed hero paces the room saying things like, “So THAT’S it! Vorelli has put the spirit of a man INTO THAT DUMMY! And I don’t LIKE it!!” 

What’s even more unfortunate about these investigation scenes is that they ultimately go nowhere. Our hero is still in the middle of all this when Hugo decides to take matters into his own hands and… well, that would be telling.

As for the scenes of Hugo, sometimes they work, and are genuinely creepy. But unfortunately sometimes they are also unintentionally hilarious. Devil Doll is mixed bag is what I’m saying.

But what I can’t get away from, is how clever and creepy the central idea behind this film is. I find it strange that there’s never been another film that uses the idea of an evil hypnotist before. At least not one that I can remember – 

GDAD: Ach. Don’t look at me. I don’t even know what day it is. 

If you enjoy creepy doll films – and really who doesn’t? I’d definitely recommend 1964’s Devil Doll to you. As a film it is not very well made, so it’s just a two out of five – but as a horror film, I’d say this is a three out of five. 

You can find the American cut of the film in full on YouTube. And that is actually the better version - the European one includes more nudity, but to squeeze it in, it cuts out parts of the plot. 

GDAD: Ah, to be honest, plot can be over-rated. Nudity, on the other hand…

DAD: Oooh, yes I love a bit a nudity. Bit a nudity fer dads…

All right, all right… Moving right along, our next film is another British black and white classic, as Dana Andrews stars in “Night of the Demon”. 

I have only a vague memory of seeing this as a kid. I’m sure you know what I mean. When you forget most of a film but then have a crystal-clear memory of a scene that will stay with you forever. The scene that had an incredible impact of me, was of a man chasing a piece of paper along railway tracks, getting more and more desperate as the piece of paper dances away on the wind… always just out of reach.

The rest of the film, I completely forgot. I must have been too young.

GDAD: It was the whisky I used to slip in your tea. That always took the edge off you noisy fecking grandkids.

That explains… so many things. Speaking of which, could you pass the Bowmore?

(Pouring noise)

GDAD: Of course lad. I’ll pour a dram for each of us. Oops. Me hand slipped.

(More pouring)

DAD: Hand slipped, me arse.

GDAD: I can’t help it. Tis me rheumatism.

DAD: Slainte. 

(drinking noises)

Ahh, that’s better.

But, Willing Participants, you may be wondering what’s so scary about a piece of paper. Let me explain…

The story here is of American psychologist Dr. John Holden, played by Dana Andrews, who travels to London to attend a conference where his friend, and esteemed colleague, Professor Harrington is to deliver a lecture denouncing black magic as a fraud, perpetrated upon weak minds. 

Harrington is a hard-headed sceptic who does not believe in such things, and he intends to expose a black magic cult headed up by Dr. Julian Karswell, whose teachings he considers to be dangerous. 

Well. Check that. In fact all of that happens before the start of the film. By the time, “Night of the Demon” begins, Harrington is a broken man. And a believer. We see him at Karswell’s house, begging for Karswell to remove a curse that has been placed upon him. Karswell promises to do what he can – but he’s very careful to check the time – he mutters some reassuring words and hurriedly ushers Harrington out into the night. 

We soon understand Karswell’s haste. Out on his own in the dark, Harrington hears a whistling, squealing, eerie noise, coming from out of the forest. Something ancient and all-powerful has been summoned… and Harrington has been marked for death.

So when Dana Andrew’s character John Holden arrives, his friend Harrington is already dead – apparently electrocuted. As another sceptic, Holden immediately starts digging into Karswell and his activities. Karswell – who comes over as an affable, friendly sort, carefully hints that mmmmmaybe Holden backs off. 

Of course, Holden doesn’t. And so Karswell, feeling threatened, does something very simple. He passes Holden a piece of paper. It’s a piece of paper that wriggles and writhes in a breeze that seems to come from nowhere, making that small slip of paper seem like a living thing. It contains some ancient runic symbols, and soon Holden starts to feel cold all the time. He feels like he can see something out of the corner of his eye. Hear things that aren’t there. And all the future-dated entries in his personal diary have been torn out. 

And, funnily enough, all of the same things happened to Harrington before his… “accident”.

“Night of the Demon” is heavy on atmosphere and dread. It’s a wonderful thing. A slow ratcheting up of tension as the sceptical Holden tries to investigate his way out of the curse, like a private detective. But of course, he’s foiled at every turn by the charming Karswell, who smiles in a patronising manner when Holden breaks into his house, looking for clues. 

He only loses his cool when Holden starts to approach the truth of what has been summoned – the thing to which Karswell has sold his soul. Holden threatens to stay close to Karswell as his time runs out and curse of the demon threatens to materialise. That’s when Karswell starts to panic…

I love the understated menace in this film, writer Charles Bennet, adapting the classic story “Casting The Runes” has a great time giving nuanced, sinister lines to actor Niall McGinnis who delivers all the veiled threats with an urbane smile and a polite smirk. But perhaps best of all is his apparent terror, as the character of Karswell realises that the ancient god who has given him his knowledge and his wealth is coming back from hell… just for him.

“Night of the Demon” was directed by Jacques Tourneur and he clearly learned a lot from legendary horror movie producer Val Lewton, for whom he directed, “Cat People” and “I Walked With A Zombie”. Both of those films very sensibly hide the true horror; they keep it offscreen. It’s the audience who provides the scares – in their own head – via the suggestive atmosphere, script and performances. 

Unfortunately, that is not the case here. Writer Charles Bennet and director Jacques Tourneur got into a huge fight with the producer, Hal E. Chester, who insisted that a creature be inserted at the beginning and end of the film. The Fire Demon quite honestly looks crap. Like a spiky version of Godzilla, or a malevolent Womble. 

Does the film need it? I don’t think so. I think it needs something, but maybe nothing more substantial than a shadow or a sigh or a pair of eyes in the darkness. Producer Hal Chester had originally approached Ray Harryhausen to create the creature, and obviously his demon would have been amazing – but still, I think it still wouldn’t look as terrifying as a hint of the horror in the dark. The screams of the victims, and the sight of a man with terror in his eyes, chasing a piece of paper down the tracks…

Just like “Devil Doll”, there are two versions of this film. The longer UK version is called “Night of the Demon” and it runs to 96 minutes. However, there’s also a shorter US version called “Curse of the Demon”. Naturally, I am recommending the slower, more atmospheric UK version. As a film, it’s a three and a half out of five. As a horror film, definitely a four and a half. 

While the monster is the disappointment of this film, “Night of the Demon" is still a horror classic. Jacques Tourneur expertly creates an atmosphere of brooding dread and slow menace. These are the skills he learned working with Val Lewton, who also fostered the career of another great young director, Robert Wise. Wise directed The Body Snatcher for Lewton and would go on to direct an amazingly diverse range of successful films – from The Day The Earth Stood Still to The Sound of Music, from Star Trek: The Motion Picture to West Side Story.

But my favourite Robert Wise film – and one that stays true to Lewton’s maxim of keeping the horror hidden and allowing the imagination of the audience to fill in the blanks themselves – is 1963’s “The Haunting”.

The Haunting was recently remade and completely reimagined by Mike Flanagan for Netflix as “The Haunting of Hill House”. However, Robert Wise’s 1963 adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s classic novel is a masterpiece in its own right and definitely the best film I shall talk about tonight.

It's a film full of atmosphere and dread and it starts with the wonderfully gloomy introduction - "Silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there - walked alone."

The house itself is a wonderful, nightmarish construction, containing odd angles, unpleasant statues and doors that are hinged in such a way that they swing shut all on their own. We are told that the man who built the house – Hugh Crane – was a cruel, sadistic man who designed it to induce feelings of fear and claustrophobia on purpose.

Robert Wise does something similar with his set design and use of the camera. The sets have ceilings to make the audience feel closed-in, caged…. Trapped. The whole film feels askew and off-kilter. There are dizzying angles and sudden scary zooms. And in fact one zoom shot so unexpected it actually made me jump out of my seat the first time I saw this film. 

I mean. That’s a hell of a trick. Scaring the audience just by making the camera lens move.

But that’s the genius of “The Haunting”. Unlike “Night of the Demon”, Wise never shows us his hand. In “The Haunting” his team of investigators are scared witless by loud noises, banging and screaming. By doors that seem to bend and distort, and a house that appears to be a living, breathing thing… with a will of its own. 

I’m getting ahead of myself. The story of “The Haunting” is that a parapsychologist named Dr. Markway brings together a team to investigate Hill House. They include Luke – a young man who currently owns the place, but isn’t particularly interested in it and treats the whole thing as a lark – Theo, an acid-tongued psychic who is all too good at perceiving the feelings of her fellow-investigators and Nell. 

Nell is at the centre of this film, and for good reason. For one thing, she is played by Julie Harris who is a wonderful actress. For another, the house seems intent on Nell. And what happens next is entirely focussed upon her. And this is unusual for Nell, because for all of her life, she’s been ignored and side-lined. For years, she’s been the sole care-giver of her demanding mother. Putting her life, her hopes, her romantic dreams on hold. 

But now her mother is dead, and she’s free to go to Hill House. And she’s excited at the thought of meeting new people, making new friends – and possible romance. Dr. Markway chose her because – although she hates to talk about it – she was subjected to supernatural phenomena in her youth. He has hopes that her receptiveness to spirits will encourage the house to “talk” to them. 

Dr. Markway will come to regret that invitation.

For you see, the house does indeed spell to Nell – messages that are apparently directed at her are scrawled on the walls overnight. The noises and disturbances seem to target her specifically, straining her already-stretched-thin nerves and threatening to break her fragile mental state. At night, she’s terrified by voices that come from nowhere, and an ominous booming that progresses along the walls and doorways, like a terrifying beast from hell – trying to find a way in.

Markway, who is somewhat patronising and arrogant scientist who sports a moustache and smokes a pipe, uses his influence over Nell (it’s clear she views him in romantic terms) to keep her in the house. But in doing so, he’s only increasing her emotional stress and vulnerability. 

And when Markway’s wife arrives at the house, it’s apparent that he’s been playing an incredibly dangerous game indeed…

I love this film. It’s one of those horror films that will make you question what you are watching as you watch it. The whole thing just  seems wrong and off-centre. I’ve mentioned some of the tricks Wise used to make us feel that way, but honestly, most of it is so subtle I wouldn’t even have noticed. The score tingles and whispers except when it BLARES at you. The actors all seem on edge – even Russ Tamblyn playing the prosaic and level-headed Luke. This is a film that will make you so unsure of your own footing, you’ll almost feel sea-sick.

The thing is Hill House is almost normal - it's just slightly wrong, quietly menacing.  And as you sit. In the night. In the dark. With the images from this film flickering around your living room, make the shadows in your own room jump and shift and change shape. Well, it won’t take very much for you to wonder if you are drifting out of this world and into the next along with Markway, Nell and Markway’s wife…

GDAD: Fuck’s sake Val. What’s wrong with ye? Tis just a filum!

Grandad! Please! You are RUINING the atmosphere for the Willing Participants!

GDAD: Ach, Willing Participants, you don’t want to listen to this big fool. I mean, it’s not a bad wee film, but sure it’s a bit slow. And there’s not enough women in knickers in it.

DAD: Aye, he’s got a point there, lad. Not one lady striding about in her shreddies.

GDAD: Women in knickers. Tis an overlooked sub-genre.

I should emphasise that – at no point do Claire Bloom or Julie Harris stride around in knickers. But they both give great performances. Bloom – all knowing glances and subtle taunts – and Harris as the desperate, unstable, self-obsessed Nell.

DAD: I thought she were a pain in the arsehole.

To be fair, the character of Nell is sort of irritating. She's childish and petulant with a tendency to fly off the handle when she doesn't have Dr. Markway's full attention - something Theo notices and Markway exploits. 

And it's here that the film really starts to bite. Markway reveals that Nell was subject to poltergeist attacks in her teens which may have been of her own creation, and the film hints darkly that Hill House only became haunted upon Nell's arrival.  

It is possible that the manifestations and noises – The Haunting – are Nell’s way of ensuring all eyes stay on her? And if so, what will her subconscious desires do to the other four?

I shan’t give anything away here – except to say that there IS a long-acknowledged link between the character of Nell and Stephen King’s “Carrie”. Markway tells us that Nell’s house had been subjected to a rain of stones in her youth – and if you’ve read Stephen King’s novel, you will know that Carrie experienced the same thing. 

I do not think it is coincidental, Stephen King loves Shirley Jackson’s novel and talks about it at great length in his book “Danse Macabre”. Both women are dominated by suffocating mothers, and both discover in themselves a new power once freed from their mother’s influence. And in both cases… things do not end well. 

“The Haunting” is a fascinating film that will stay with you long after it has finished. Even now in describing it, the images of that film have sprung like awakened spirits in my mind. As a film, and as a horror film it’s a five out of five. 

DAD: Well that were all a bit bloody pretentious. Can we do a fun one now?

Fair enough. Let’s continue with a personal favourite of ours. And a film that nowhere NEAR enough people have seen. I bring you 1951’s “The Strange Door”.

DAD: Oooh! I like this one! 

GDAD: Ah yes, this is a grand tale. Pass the whisky.

Based on a tale by Robert Louis Stevenson, the Scottish author of Doctor Jekyll & Mr. Hyde and The Body Snatcher, this film stars Charles Laughton as the splendidly EVIL and FIENDISH, Sire Alain de Malatroit. 

No, really. I am not emphasising enough just how FIENDISH and EVIL he is. I need you to understand this. He is DESPICABLE. He is WICKED. He is NEFARIOUS. And he LOVES it.

Malatroit has a diabolical plan to RUIN the life of his niece Blanche who lives with him in the Malatroit mansion. In order to do this, he plans to marry her off to a despicable cad who will break her heart and destroy her life. But who – who can he find – who will fit the bill? He needs a complete wastrel, a drunken, wenching, gambling vagabond. 

Malatroit finds just such a fellow in Denis de Beaulieu, a young man who spends all of his time in taverns, getting into fights and picking up naughty ladies who are willing to sell their affections... amongst other things. Malatroit and his henchmen conspire to manipulate events in the town, and convinces de Beaulieu that he has killed a man and must flee the local authorities. 

De Beaulieu escapes the locals, but runs right into the jaws of Malatroit’s trap. He slips through the strange door of the title, only to find himself in the manor house of Malatroit… and Malatroit awaiting him. Malatroit explains that now he’s caught – in his lair! De Beaulieu has no choice but to marry his niece and that any attempt to escape will be FUTILE. Ahahahahahaha!!

I feel like I’m not truly conveying just how much Charles Laughton appears to be enjoying himself playing this character. His every line is delivered with lip-smacking, finger-polishing, self-regarding RELISH. He looks like the cat that caught the canary. While also sitting on the mouse. 

Charles Laughton – of course – is not specifically known as a horror actor. His most famous roles are probably King Henry in Alexander Korda’s “The Private Life of Henry VIII” and Captain Bligh in “Mutiny on the Bounty”.

But in fact, Laughton made a terrific contribution to horror. Not only did he star in James Whale’s “The Old Dark House”, he also brought the sadistic vivisectionist Dr. Moreau to life in the film “The Island of Lost Souls”. And of course he was married to horror legend Elsa Lanchester, the Bride of Frankenstein herself. But perhaps most impressively, he directed one of the most brilliant, singular and artistic horror films of all time in “The Night of the Hunter”, starring Shelley Winters and Robert Mitchum.

And – he is ALSO the subject of this episode’s “Celebrity Anecdote”.

Charles Laughton and Peter Ustinov both worked on the film, “Spartacus” with Kirk Douglas. 

Ustinov, who plays the man who buys Spartacus as a slave in the film, was somewhat in awe of the older actor. Laughton, for his part, was nearing the end of his career (and his life) by the time the film was made in 1960. So when Laughton asked if he could come to Ustinov’s rented accommodation to swim in the pool, Ustinov readily agreed. 

And it was for this reason that Peter Ustinov, accompanied by his young son, were confronted by the elderly actor, swimming laps in their back garden one afternoon. 

Laughton heaved his impressive bulk out of the pool, wrapped a towel around himself and came over to talk to Ustinov. 

Peter Ustinov recalled that he was distracted during his conversation with the venerable actor. This is because his young son kept pulling on his father’s trousers the whole time. “Dad. Daddy. Daddy… Daddy…” he said.

Ustinov tried to ignore his son, while conversing with Laughton. 

But to no avail. Eventually Ustinov’s son just blurted out what was on his mind. And he said as loudly as he could while pointing at Laughton. “Daddy! Who is THAT LADY??”

Ustinov leaned down and addressed his son in a significant whisper. “That man is Charles Laughton. He is an extremely eminent actor. He is NOT a lady.”

Ustinov stood up again and smiled apologetically at Charles Laughton. But unfortunately Ustinov’s son was not finished. He looked directly at Laughton and asked – LOUDLY – 

“Then why does he have breasts?”

And that is the end of this CELEBRITY ANECDOTE.

In “The Strange Door”, Charles Laughton’s character Malatroit, keeps a dungeon and a torture chamber. And has LOCKED AWAY Blanche’s father in there – the poor man slowly driven mad by confinement. Malatroit gloats with absolute GLEE over his successful revenge on his brother, relating with indecent RELISH how he plans to destroy his niece. 

BUT – has Malatroit reckoned without the ingenuity and bravery of the young couple? And has he overlooked his sullen manservant Voltan, as played in brilliant hangdog fashion by Boris Karloff?

Karloff is actually very understated in a supporting role here, but it’s always great to see him. However, this is Laughton’s film through and through. And – because I’m me – I kind of found myself cheering Laughton on, as his diabolical schemes for the young couple swing into place – and they find themselves trapped in his torture chamber…

“The Strange Door” looks great, and it has that wonderful pairing of Laughton and Karloff, so I’d give it a four out of five as a film. But despite being thoroughly enjoyable, it’s really not scary at all, so just a two as a horror film.

Of course, if we’re talking about Boris Karloff it seems only natural to bring up Bela Lugosi as well. We all remember him for his classic movies of course – Dracula, The Black Cat, The Murders in the Rue Morgue – but it goes without saying that he also made a number of films toward the end of his career which don’t serve his memory quite so well. 

Nevertheless, I still have fond memories of these films as well. Showing up on late night British tv. 

And that brings us to the end of this episode. I apologise that there wasn’t much of a theme this time. I really just wanted this episode to be about my family, who taught me to love horror. We bonded on those magical Friday nights, on all of those Appointments With Fear, meeting with blood-sucking monsters, deranged scientists and ghostly apparitions. And to us, Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, Lon Chaney Junior, Peter Cushing and Vincent Price were like old, dear friends. 

GDAD: Ah, the lads. Let’s raise a glass to them.

DAD: Aye, and to t’ lasses as well – Barbara Steele, Hazel Court, Valerie Leon, Stephanie Beacham, Jenny Hanley…

ALL: To Jenny Hanley!

(glasses clinking)

GDAD: And do you remember, Val? When the filum was over, you’d be too scared to go to bed? You’d want to stay up and watch the weather forecast, and sit there until the man from the telly wished you good night?

I do remember that. I remember the tv being switched off and going off to bed with the images and music still running through my head. And I would snuggle down under the blankets listening to the weather outside, and the clock ticking on the side table. And I would await the coming dreams…

DAD: And then you’d scare yourself stupid and end up in the bed between yer mother and me. 

Sorry about that dad.

DAD: If it weren’t for you, we’d have had a least five more kids. 

You’re welcome.

My Dear Willing Participants, that brings us to the end of this episode. Do join me next time when I shall be discussing twins with you. That’s right – films featuring two people, each the mirror-image of the other. One good and normal, the other… Well, you’ll see…

But until then, I must confess I don’t know when or where you are listening to this episode. However, it is my dear wish that you are at home, in a darkened living room in front of the glow of a warm television. I hope you have a pot of tea and some hot buttered toast with you. Or better yet, a glass of whisky. 

(NEWS ENDING)

We could pretend that the News at Ten is just ending and “Appointment With Fear” is about to start. We could put on one of those classic old movies and watch it together on this dark, blustery evening. 

Let us enjoy the dark. Let us wrap it around ourselves and retreat into it, into a world of dark fantasy and Gothic terror.

Enjoy the film, my dear Willing Participants. 

(glass clinking)

And Happy Halloween.